As the mom of two beloved kitties, I sometimes wonder if I am coming too close to the line that separates normal cat lovers from the extreme exemplified in the Crazy Cat Lady. I do not want to cross this line and as a result, have given much thought to what exactly defines this transition. I have concluded that three factors are involved: number of cats, paraphernalia, and level of obsession.
Like many disorders, the Crazy Cat Lady is part of a spectrum. At one end lies the cat haters (who clearly have their own issues), balanced in the middle are normal cat lovers, and at the other end are the Crazy Cat Ladies. The three factors listed above are what drives you toward one end of the spectrum or the other.
The Equation
(c + w/d) x p x l
c = number of cats owned
d = desire for more cats (1-10; 1 being most intense)
w = number of additional cats wanted
p = cat paraphernalia (includes decor, toys, etc.)
l = level of obsession
Number of Cats
You should have at least one cat to be a Crazy Cat Lady. However, an intense desire for a cat when living situations do not allow for a cat (or ten) could easily factor in to the equation. Perhaps it would be the number of cats one desires to own divided by the intensity of that desire on a scale of one to ten, one being the strongest desire. This would also account for those in the same circumstance who find a way to have a cat anyway and rules be damned. Now, those of you with only one or two cats may be thinking that your are golden with so few cats. Don’t forget that this equation contains two more critical factors.
Paraphernalia
This is often a clear sign of the crazy cat lady. You walk into her house to be immediately surrounded by all things kitty. Wherever you look, there is something with a cat on it – pictures, throw pillows, mugs, clothing, and even tattoos. This is often a clear sign that one has crossed the line to crazy land. A few cat decor items scattered here and there are within the normal range as are assorted cat toys, scratching posts, and other cat gear. One only needs to be concerned when the level of decor becomes overwhelmingly cat or the cat gear is so plentiful that one begins to wonder if any humans live there at all. This increasing level of cat things is also an indicator of the most vital factor of all.
Level of Obsession
You could have a hundred cats but be running a cat rescue and lack the level of obsession necessary to push one into the crazy end of the spectrum. You could fill your house with cat decor but at heart be an art lover more than a cat lover. You could also have only a few cats and a scattering of cat decor but a level of obsession that makes you want to talk about nothing but your cats. This is where I begin to be concerned about my own position on the spectrum. Unlike the other two factors, this one is not easily quantified.
If you can be honest with yourself, you can perform a self-assessment. Ask yourself a few questions. How often during any given day, do you find your thoughts drifting to your cats? Have you recently cancelled plans with humans so you could spend more time with the kitties? Are there pictures on your phone that do NOT include cats (yours or others)? Do you find yourself putting off projects or other activities to play with or cuddle cats? You may also want to share these questions with a friend, perhaps a dog person, as they may see the warning signs before you do.
Are You a Crazy Cat Lady?
If in reading this you have found yourself perilously close to the crazy end, do not despair! You can begin taking a few simple steps now that can help you find balance again. Unless there is a true mental health or cleanliness concern, there is no need to give away your beloved kitties. Choosing a limit to your personal cat population is recommended, though. In my home, I set a limit not to exceed the number of human hands to pet them, currently two. That means if I get married, we can get two more cats. But I digress.
If your home has been flooded with cat decor, consider boxing a portion and bringing them out seasonally. That would allow you to enjoy the kitty art without your whole house screaming, “I LOVE CATS!!!!”
Level of obsession is the most difficult to address as it seems to be a part of who we are. We are cat people, after all, just not crazy ones. The idea here is to bring more human-centered activities into your life. Spend time with humans only or humans and dogs. Find more activities that you enjoy that require you to leave the house for place where there are not normally cats. Ask a friend to help you notice when you turn the conversation once again to the cute thing your cat did last night. Make a list of other topics to discuss if this is difficult for you.
You can live an abundant life full of cats without crossing over into the Crazy Cat Lady area. For some, this will be easy and for others, a life long struggle. Please know that it is possible. Though I fear that by writing this article, I am revealing to both myself and my readers just how close I am to that line. One’s level of obsession must be high after all to have put this much thought into how one becomes a Crazy Cat Lady!